(As) thick as two short planks

Definitions

lack of intelligence or awareness
To describe someone as being very unintelligent or unaware

Examples of (As) thick as two short planks

The computer programmer's knowledge of human interaction was as limited as two short planks.

This idiom is used to describe someone who has very little understanding or experience in a particular area. In this example, the computer programmer's lack of knowledge in human interaction is compared to the thickness or width of two short planks, which is not very substantial or significant. This idiom may be used to convey a sense of humor as well, given that one might not think of planks as having much thickness in the first place.
The actor's performance in the play was as wooden as two short planks.

In this example, the actor's lackluster or unconvincing performance is compared to the unyielding stiffness of two short planks. This idiom is often used to criticize a poor acting performance, as it implies that the actor's movements or delivery of lines are as stiff or unnatural as the surface of a plank.
The chef's seasoning of the dish was as subtle as two short planks.

This idiom is used to describe something that is incredibly bland or lacking in flavor. The thickness of two short planks represents the absence of any distinct or pronounced taste or aroma, which is similarly associated with the subtlety of the seasoning in this example.
The painter's use of color was as muted as two short planks.

In this example, the painter's lack of vibrancy or boldness in their use of color is compared to the dullness of two short planks. This idiom is often used to criticize a failure to create vibrant or striking artwork, as it implies that the use of color is as unobtrusive or unremarkable as the surface of a plank.
The storm had caught the construction workers off guard, leaving them with no other option but to huddle together under a makeshift shelter made of two short planks nailed together. The air was thick with the smell of rain mixed with the scent of freshly sawn wood. As they waited for the storm to pass, they couldn't help but jokingly compare their predicament to the idiom "as thick as two short planks."

The phrase "as thick as two short planks" is used to describe something that is very dense or thick. In this context, it is used to describe the heavy weight of the rain and the thick atmosphere created by the storm and the makeshift shelter. The comparison to two short planks highlights the fact that, just like two short planks nailed together, the shelter is not sturdy or stable enough to provide complete protection against the elements.
The new hire was as thick as two short planks when it came to understanding the intricacies of our industry's jargon. She did not seem to grasp the underlying concepts and kept making errors that threatened to derail our projects. We realized that it might take some time for her to catch up to the rest of the team, and we brutally joked that she was "as thick as two short planks."

In this instance, the phrase "as thick as two short planks" is used to describe someone who is not very intelligent or has difficulty comprehending complex concepts. The comparison to two short planks reinforces the notion that just as two short planks lack stability, the new hire's lack of knowledge made her unstable in our industry's specific context.
The traffic on the highway was as thick as two short planks during rush hour, making it almost impossible for us to make it to our meeting on time. The air was thick with the sound of honking cars and the smell of exhaust fumes. We were grateful for the car's sound system, which helped distract us from the idiocy on the road, and we joked that the traffic was "as thick as two short planks."

Here, the phrase "as thick as two short planks" is used to describe a situation that is dense, obstructive, and can impede progress. The comparison to two short planks highlights the fact that just as two short planks may take up space and impede movement, the heavy traffic on the highway was causing a bottleneck, making it difficult for us to navigate through.
The boss was as thick as two short planks when it came to handling confrontations. He would often become defensive and fail to see the other person's point of view, creating a tense work environment. We tried to steer clear of him during these moments, acknowledging that he was "as thick as two short planks."

In this scenario, the phrase "as thick as two short planks" is employed to denote an individual who is obstinate and closed-minded, making it challenging to communicate with them. The comparison to two short planks underscores the idea that just as two short planks are not conducive to motion or flow, the boss's stubbornness caused a significant roadblock in our workplace interactions.

Conclusion

The idiom "as thick as two short planks" is used to describe someone as being very unintelligent or unaware. It is a way of emphasizing someone's lack of intelligence or awareness in a humorous or derogatory manner.

The idiom is often used in informal settings, such as in casual conversations among friends or family members. It is not typically used in formal or professional contexts.

Origin of "(As) thick as two short planks"

The origin of the idiom "as thick as two short planks" is unclear, but it likely stems from the idea that a thick wooden plank is not very intelligent or aware. The use of "two short planks" further emphasizes the lack of intelligence, as two short planks would be even less useful than one long plank.

The idiom is commonly used in British English and may have originated in the UK. It is a colorful and vivid way to express a lack of intelligence or awareness in someone. Examples of the idiom can be found in literature, films, and everyday conversations.